Who am I???
Well, I am not a diagnostician, psychologist or psychiatrist. All of my insights came from personal research, and therapy. As a result, I use the term narcissist, and codependent in a nonclinical way. I have no authority to use the label otherwise. I met my narcissist when I was a young girl. He was my first love. We shared our first intimate moments together. Then without warning he ended our romance. He ended our young love by inviting me to a party. It was at this party, in font of all of his friends, he introduced me to his new girlfriend. I felt emotionally raped and abandon. As a young girl, this devastated me. The fear of my separation from him was paralyzing. In time, I moved on. It was a difficult process. For years, he remained that unanswered question of my teenage life. He returned thirty some years later to “reclaim” his lost love. Of course I believed it! Then, with an all too familiar smile on his face, and coldhearted gleam in his eye he tried to destroy me again. However, devastated, this time I am fighting back! This site is my collective experience of the 90 days post break up experience. If you are reading this page, you could be potentially thinking about getting out of a bad relationship. However, you might be paralyzed by the fear. This fear of separation could be preventing you from taking the next steps. For some of us the profound fear of separation is real, and powerful. It was in the wake of this fear, I discovered insights and strategies that helped me better understand my fear as well as addiction to abuse. Over the past three months, I have journalized and outlined these discoveries. I am now sharing these insights with you. I hope they help you. If nothing else, I hope these insights allow you to look inside yourself. What needs to happen next is up to you. At the end of each journal entry I pose an exercise or “your assignment” to provide you with a focal point of reflection. I hope this will help you as it was part of my process. In pulling back the curtain and starting my recovery, I discovered self-love.
This is a very aggressive 90 day plan. It is for serious minded people ready and committed to kick the habit of emotionally abusive people (whatever the label). In truth, it does not matter; narcissist, alcoholic, drug addict, gambler, psychopath, antisocial any one of these personality types are by any other name unavailable to themselves, let alone for a meaningful relationship. So again, these next 90 days is for people ready to give up their thankless roles. I promise you, this will not easy, but worth it. As American naturalist John Burroughs put it, “Leap and the net will appear.” Start by visualizing the net. Make conscious choices; GET into therapy. Commit to change. Retool the everyday habits of your life. Make healthy connections. Commit to this process for the next 90 days, keeping track of your daily progress. There is no turning back. You have made the MOVE OUT. STAY OUT!