I wrote a goodbye letter. The therapist told me to print it and know it. Remember, she warned me “YOU are implementing the NO CONTACT agenda. He is NOT! The rules do not apply to this kind of person”, she warned. Since I have no way of knowing what he will do or when he will resurface, I took the advice seriously. I wrote, printed and highlighted all the important points of the letter. I made sure to include the statements; this is my last correspondence; “I will NOT read or respond to any more text, emails or letters. I will not listen to messages or return calls.” Be ready to protect yourself at any given moment. Plan exit strategies from all your known places. There will be a time when you will get strong, it might not be today. I needed to drive well out of my way to buy groceries, get coffee and gas. I did not frequent my regular haunts. I shared my new comings and goings with friends. My friends were so thrilled that I ended things with my narcissist that they were willing to do anything and everything to help keep me stay safe. In my research, one of one of my favorite people Sam Vatkin, a self-proclaimed narcissist became a voice of both salvation and reason. I played his Youtube channel almost nonstop.
Draft your goodbye letter, and memorize the key points. You never know when he-she will resurface. Be ready. Plan your exit strategies. Continue therapy. Watch Sam Vatkin or read his free down load “Malignant Self Love, The Narcissist Revisited.” Learn to defend yourself. I chose boxing (as in pugilism)! Learn to protect your heart as well as your body!