More than three plus decades later, my narcissist returned to claim his lost love… of course I believed it! The first time around, he ended our young love by inviting me to a party. It was soon after I arrived, I realized he had invited me to the party to meet his new girlfriend. It was the most humiliating and hurtful moment of my adolescent life! So why am I still talking about something that happened more than thirty years ago? Because I believe I was being set up, and groomed for the same scenario. I think my narcissist enjoyed twisting me up into an emotional knot and would have given his right…arm for the opportunity to invite me to another party and introduce me to his fiancé…while still dating me! This is the end game of a relationship with a narcissist, idealized, devalued and discarded. They are like automatons, repeating the same behaviors over and over again. Nothing I did or didn’t do can change what they are, my therapist has help me understand the damage to them was done long before my relationship.
List all the things you think you did that contributed to the failure of your relationship with your narcissist. Try to remember you are dealing with a mental ill person, a disordered person, a person who cannot operate within the framework of reason. Forgive yourself.