Day 41 Grief Cycles and Default Setting

I notice that any stressor or grief becomes a kind of a conduit between me and my obsessive thoughts about my ex-narcissist.  It is almost like a default setting. For example; if I feel anxious, about other relationships, like a misunderstanding with a good friend. I think about my ex. If I feel sad, like when my dog died. I think about my ex.  If I get angry at a situation that has absolutely nothing to do with my ex… I think about him.  While I am not sure why, based on my research here is my best guess. (Yes I said a guess, Hey! I am not a professional…lol).  It is almost as if the emotional trauma nerve center in my brain works to protect me against harm. (Some of this I gleaned from watching Spartan Life Coach)  Because, so much of the hurt rendered by the narcissistic relationship remains a mystery, it makes a kind of odd sense that every time I experience something unpleasant I find myself not only dealing with the unpleasantness of the moment, but I experience it amplified or through the lens of the unanswered narcissistic “head fuckery”.   Does this resonate true for anyone else?  My therapist suggest that the narcissistic relationship is like a security blanket.  She further suggest that clinging to the blanket is fantasy driven.   Either way, or some other way I am mindful that stressors can provoke obsessive thoughts about the narcissist…

Day 41 Your Assignment

Notice when you are upset, do you think more about your ex?  If so I would be curious to hear about your experience.


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