In denying my needs, my narcissist was in an indirect way also denying his own, and HE LIKED IT! Imagine all the evenings HE spent alone, punishing me for wanting to be with him! Evidently, this was not just my problem, he would tell me, a gleam of pride in his eye that he NEVER stayed the course for any full family vacation. Imagine the energy it must have took to create excuses (real or imagined) to get out of a family vacation, not to mention every family vacation; more importantly, the satisfaction he took in this impeccable record of non-attendance. Research shows that narcissists presents with sadistic as well as masochistic tendencies. In other words, he gets off on disappointing me, and for an added bonus hurts himself. Also, denying himself, supports the notion that HE is ABOVE the human condition! In his mind, he does not have HUMAN NEEDS!
Day 50 Your Assignment
Think about all the disappointments that were an inevitable and integral part of your relationship. Now ask yourself what was the pay off? In other words, was your narcissist inflicting disappointment unto himself as well as you? If the answer is yes, then ask yourself the bigger question why did all of this seem NORMAL to you? As you move away from the dark narcissistic space, you will be surprised as to how your perspective will change.