Day 56 Abandonment and Rejection Does Not Always a Narcissist Make!

Day 56

I recently began dating someone. Things did not progress into a lasting relationship. There are no stones to throw or mud to sling… sometimes things just did not work.  He sent me an article about narcissism. I do not believe this was to contribute to my work, rather an attempt to say I am a narcissistic pot calling the narcissistic kettle black! Look, I understand feeling hurt when people do not respond in ways that we wanted or hoped.  However not everyone is “DISORDERED”.  In the same mind-set, a friend of mine talking about another failed relationship of a mutual friend of ours had made the comment “another narcissist!”  Not everyone is a narcissist, the disorder represents a very small minority of mental health disorders. (in 2009 U.S. News published “a nationally representative sample of 35,000 Americans found that 6 percent of Americans, or 1 out of 16  had experienced [clinical narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)] at some point in their lives” {{1}}).  You need to realize that these numbers are from seven years ago, but while the understanding of what makes a narcissist has been better defined, it is still difficult to diagnose and the number can be severely understated.   It is short-sighted and not productive to throw every bad relationship into the narcissistic basket. Sometimes people just don’t get along. Sometimes people are just reacting to other things in their lives. Sometimes people feel bad about themselves (situational- illness, job loss, and more) as a result fail to really bond because of the timing. This does not a narcissist make!  Narcissist are cruel, selfish (intentional or not) sadomasochistic-cold empathy (conscious or not) the collateral damage in their wake is profound.  There is a huge difference and distinction between a garden variety break up and the narcissistic break up!  The post trauma that occurs for people in a narcissistically driven relationship can be debilitating. The wounds are deep.

 

{{1}} http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/brain-and-behavior/articles/2009/04/21/narcissism-epidemic-why-there-are-so-many-narcissists-now

 

Day 56 Your Assignment

If you are drawn to narcissist, you might have had more than one relationship with one.  However, draw the distinction between the garden variety bad break up and a narcissistic break up in your own life.

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