The idea of practice makes perfect is not always the end result. Perhaps the greater truth is that practice makes better. No one is going to make my life better. It is my job to make it better. Like anything that takes practice. So where to begin? It is the ability to live a life governed by my own terms that begs the question…what are those terms? What are the rules? How can I discern between abusive treatment and non-abusive treatment when my life has been so mired with abuse as something normal? It is a challenge that now shifts from fact finding and trying to understand my draw towards abuse, and my declaration against it! It does not come easy. It is not my nature. I have to be mindful and manage my behaviors. Anything less and I am working in collusion with my abusers! So every day is an opportunity to move away from abuse. Every day is an opportunity to reboot into a better place. Every day is an opportunity to grow into an emotionally mature adult. This is what I need to think about and make a practice every day until “normal” becomes my new normal.
Day 57 Your Assignment
Define your terms! What are you looking for and what do you want? What are you willing to accept and what are you willing to give? This is a process that may take time to mature as you move farther away from the narcissistic space.