I began listening and watching a series of classroom videos from Stanford University https://youtu.be/NOAgplgTxfc
What I gleaned from the video is that there is a biology to our brain, it is the old “you are what you think” thing in biological terms. Over simplified to be sure but as I understand it; the higher functioning parts of our most beautiful human brain are capably of whispering to the other parts how to feel and react. If the brain is caught in a depression loop or an obsessive compulsive loop then it continues with unyielding banter whispering to the rest of the group and thus feeding the frenzy! Understanding our inability to stop the “madness” and feeling bad it would seem is a two-fold problem one part chemistry-biology and the other part expressed in emotions and behaviors while not less tangible, far more difficult to measure. I say that only because it seems to me probable reactions to things are not always consists. I might not react negatively to something a friend says today, tomorrow I may not respond at all. However, a few days from that given factors such as lack of sleep, hunger, other stressors impacting the moment, I might reply with an altogether different type of answer (explosive, unrelated, unwarranted response). So what does this have to do with me and the narcissistic relationship I am trying to get over?? It is the part about thoughts, and the importance of keeping them very clean during this time. In other words, it is easy to continue to obsess about the narcissist, telling myself I miss him. It is easy because it is a known thought and one that seems to echo loudly in my brain. It is far more difficult to tell myself I do not miss the ill treatment. Both are true! So what to do?? Make sure I am feeding my brain the right stuff! Keep my thoughts focused on the best of me. My future and growth as well as evolution of my maturity and adulthood is the only way out!
Day 59 Your Assignment
Create helpful mantras. Keep thoughts as free of negativity as possible. If only it were that easy to stay free of negativity… lol I know this is an arduous task, but stay positive and keep trying. I also know grief is part of change. It is the habit of negative self-talk that at least once identified, the hope is bringing awareness to it.