For the past few days, I have been thinking about the difference between codependency and separation anxiety. Is there a difference with a distinction? Would there be a different model for treatment?? Are all co-dependence rattled by separation anxiety? Are people with separation anxiety co-dependent? The answer is I am not sure… As I always caution, these are untrained observation into my own behavior. While I do not fully identify with the term codependent, I do feel a kind of better fitting truth in the term separation anxiety. I felt a kind of panic each time my narcissist would offhandedly threaten to leave. So much of my time with him, I spent twisted in that kind of “oh, he is going to end it” knot. So I found that in this arena of full disclosure to myself, that I begin to keep myself accountable to what happens next. So one of the things learned, like it or not, not everyone is going to like me. In the same breath I will NOT accept “the threat” of separation as means of control. The “if you do this, or don’t do that, I am leaving thing” that usually winds up to be just talk, is only meant to control. There can be no building of trust given these kinds of parameters. While insidiously subtle in the early stages of my relationship, in hindsight this threat was there! Moving forward is a process.
Day 60 Your Assignment
Try to identify your own motivations. While labeling alone is not an answer self-awareness (for me anyways) has been a good start.