The notion that my experience matters, drives me to finish these 90 days. To be sure, that same notion of “my experience matters” resonates with some measure of narcissism, however a small amount of Narcissism expressed in the form of taking pride in yourself I don’t believe is a bad thing. Narcissistically motivated or not, I guess what really matters, is not just what happened… but what later happened as a result of the experience! Almost a year ago, on the tails of ending the seemingly endless relationship with my childhood narcissist revisited, I decided to take on some new more productive ways to heal. At some point, a light goes on and you say “hey it is on me to make better choices and get myself into a place that feels better”! I began with 90 day increment. I said I was going to start therapy and see where I was in three month, I join a local boxing gym, attending five nights a week with same intent to reevaluate after 90 days. I began writing my blog with the intention I would actually finish within the 90 days, lol. I also began a series of what might seem like insignificant pattern changes, that now closing unto a year have helped me to some measure redirect my internal narrative. Most of the patterns were simple, some more challenging. It was/is things like not watching TV, parking in a different parking space, reading things outside of my interest, planning vacations (regardless of taking them). One year later, I am still boxing five night a week. The satisfying work of therapy continues, however, is coming to a close. The awareness of patterns and changing them, even ever so slightly remind me that I have the power to make changes. The detour to the 90 day finish has been a really beautiful trip. It is not unfair or bad to take the time to really recalibrate if you need it! Allow yourself the time and the opportunity to rediscover yourself!!
Day 62 Your assignment
What is one thing you can commit to change or commit to trying for the next 90 days? Make a list of ten things and pick one and do it.