The “hoover” maneuver named after the vacuum, is based on the theory that my narcissist will always return to suck me back into his drama. Mine was no exception! If I was an extension of my narcissist, doesn’t it stand to reason, I must remain a fixture forever in the narcissist narrative? I was and possibly still for him a token in his mental treasure chest. Like all of his women, (victims, sources of supply) I was and still mentally am a fixed player in his twisted, self-propitiating, endless drama. While I may have been his first hoover, the last time he drew me in… 35 years after our original “relationship” this could have destroyed me. I count myself fortunate that it did NOT, for that I am grateful! When dealing with my narcissist it was amazing that in the face of all the mental cruelty how even the slightest show of “love” impacted my better judgment. I guess I have to always remember that when playing with the narcissist he will always manipulate the situation such that for him in every situation it ends up “heads I win, tails you lose”… While I will always be a fixed player in my narcissist’s game, I have decided that I am NO longer playing! In this resolve there is power, still a touch of grief, yet freedom to be sure…
Imagine the narcissist in your life remembers you like an old playmate. You are a fixed character in his sick internal narrative. Calling on you at any given moment is his prerogative, because you are simply an extension of him. The good news for you is that YOU CAN STOP PLAYING…he CANNOT!!