Many people comment on how they have decided to give up love after breaking off with a narcissist. They are too hurt- too overwhelmed- too afraid to start anew. I get it! However, while a self-imposed “time out,” is extremely important in healing after a narcissistic break up, to trust in ones self and to love anew is the only way to nullify the narcissist’s damage. What does this mean to me? It means getting to know myself, and believing in my own self-worth. It means having a standard of “normal” when choosing both romantic-platonic relationships. It means realizing that l may be alone UNTIL I find people who comes close to those standards. It means NOT sugar coating the truth about people who do not meet these standards simply not to be alone. Falling at the very least “in like” with me, and realistically evaluating the world around me, as I tried to understand the reasons why I keep recreating the same relationship black hole. Fear of being along and the ability to rationalize are NOT a good combination when looking for love. I have said all along, for me therapy was and still is imperative. It gave me the ability to integrate some parental upgrades based on not being their for my child while I was with my narcissist as well as giving myself permission to start my life anew. Still it has been a bumpy ride. While I celebrate the perfection of humanity, I have also come to realize that people for whatever their reasons come flawed and damaged – the divine dichotomy! It is not up to me to change the world or others, only to be a better more effective player in it! That means to be true and love myself first and with that I believe I have nullified the narcissist! Self-loathing, doubt, fear of abandonment, insecurities are the narcissist’s inroads! These are the real challenges…it is not finding people to love, but rather loving and trusting in myself in the process of living my life which I think will make the difference.
Day 73 Your Assignment
Can you be your own best friend?? Imagine that you are your own best friend, a true and loyal friend that embodies all the facets that you would want in a best friend. Essentially, think of yourself as the BEST version of your own best friend! Once you can imagine that, imagine how the idealized image of your best friend you would treat you… Try to be that best version of your own idealized best friend in everyday life such that you become that embodiment of the best you possible and do not give up on loving yourself anew!