As always these are my observations, these are not the opinions of a clinician, but rather a person trying to make her way seemingly walking on a broken road. So with that in mind, if the terms souls crushing closeness feels accurate when describing a nondramatic relationship then perhaps like me, it is time to take inventory. When the question is soul crushing closeness or self-prescribed aloneness the answer can most likely be found by looking inside NOT OUT! I say this because on the regular people with intimacy issues have to make a difficult choices. That is, to be with someone (anyone) resulting in a feeling akin to soul crushing closeness or deal with an equally difficult state of affairs of – aloneness! This kind of position usually predicates disaster, perpetuating the same cycle of relationship failure. When people say “it is better to be alone than with the wrong person,” this statement may not hold the same water for people that have an intense fear of being alone. When a person with intimacy issues on a conscience level asks themselves what is better; souls crushing closeness (because of desperate and bad choices) or aloneness, understanding the ramifications of the question as well as the answer, the arduous journey of self-discovery begins. With this understanding, once having poised the first question, the next question is “WHY?” Why I am so afraid of being alone that I would rather give myself to a bad situation then hold out for something that I know will be better for me? This is of course the big question.
Day 83 Your Assignment
Think about some of your choices. Have you made bad choices because of fear of being alone? While I have no exercise that can make this any better if the answer is yes, I can say that identifying behavior is the best way to change it…