Day 84 Processing Grief- Loneliness vs. depression!

Day 84 I am not an expert of therapy, however I do know that in this past year, while I was in traditional therapy, medication as a treatment for my loneliness (or reaction to loneliness) seemed to frequently come into the conversation.  While I am a firm believer in medication for many things…I am not sure feeling alone (or the reaction to loneliness) is one of those things a pill can change.  Over and over the diagnosis seemed to be some kind of depression, and while I felt sad to be sure, depression just never seemed to resonate for me.  Ok so what do you do when the world keeps telling you to just take a pill because you’re depressed, when in truth you are just lonely.  Is it that depression is easier for people to deal with because there is a pill?  Is loneliness interpreted as something put upon the listener? I am not sure, however I guess with enough loneliness, in time, depression is sure to follow. And when you are isolated and feel like there are no options I think medication is a beautiful thing!  Why do I think I am not depressed?  Because, I see options.  I work out twice a day, I cook, clean my house, enjoy visits with my son when he is home from college.  I read, write, go on the occasional date, and maintain connections with friends and a church. I came from addiction and as a result stay away from drugs (including prescriptions) and excessive use of alcohol.  Do I sound depressed?? I mentioned in another blog, I walked into a kind of church well outside of my faith. I volunteered in an effort to better understand the comings and goings of the church as well as to find some kind of grief group.  In that search, I found so much more.  It is committing to a new life and a new way of working any program that will make a difference.  Grief is part of the reconciliation of past pain. Grief is part of letting go of old narcissistic fantasy laden relationships.  Then comes letting go of the attachment to the grief and moving forward.  Committing to this process is arduous! If only there was a pill, ha!  I am working to make a new life, breaking the chains of a past life that did not hold the promise of connection.  Connection and the commitment to making those connections work, I hope for me that this is the way to my own “happiness”!

Day 84 Your Assignment

Get out of your routine.  Let go of your past.  Commit to making changes.  Make a game plan.  Look up local churches, and see what they offer.  Libraries are great places to find different activities, see what is going on at your local library (i.e. discussion groups, etc.)!  These are inexpensive ways to meet new people and make rich changes in your life.

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