Tip one; subtract idealist crazy love, and add the quiet sanity of friendship.
Tip two; subtract the idea that HE-SHE can change and add the idea that only YOU CAN!
Tip three; subtract the vested interest of negative internal narratives, and add the possibility of positive self-assurances.
Tip four; subtract what you imagine exists, and add a dose of reality. Reality can be beautiful as well as REAL!
Tip five; subtract the nagging feelings of being alone and unworthiness, and add the feelings of belonging. In other words, subtract doing nothing and start doing something!
While life is never just this easy, in some ways it is just not that hard. “Subtract to add” is a good way to think of doing narcosis math, (only if you can also remember the only variable you can control is YOU)!! If you can identify and subtract all the negative thoughts, behaviors, and influences that got you tangled in the narcissist space in the first place while adding the tools you need to escape the space, victory is assured! While the formula may seem easy enough, the equation is a very personal and painstaking solve. No two answers for every person will ever be the same. The answer to find normal is one that requires both subtraction as well as addition. It is personal. It is time sensitive. It is the only way I can see of getting out! Change requires subtracting old words, thoughts and actions while adding new words, thoughts and actions. It is a numbers game!!
Day 85 You Assignment
If I have learned nothing else, the most valuable thing I walk away from this journey is that the only thing I can control is me. I can choose to be lost or found. I can chose helplessness or I can choose to take care of myself. Choose to take care of yourself!