Over the past year and half or so, since ending my toxic narcissistic childhood first love revisited I have kept busy. First, it was understanding the underpinnings of this insidious affliction- that is understanding narcissist abuse. I often think about if I had known then what I know now how different my life might have been. I came out of such a toxic environment, and he was for my first attempt to really belong outside of that mess. As a result of the trilogy of my mother, father and first love, my self-image, confidence as well as the understanding of my self was compromised. Well as they say, I hope it true, it is never too late I began a course of therapy both secular and non-secular and this helped me to understand both him and myself. I continued my exercise routine adding evening work outs at a fight club near my house including jujitsu and boxing which helped strengthen my body as well as my emotional head space. I began a journey of blogging. At first, I knew nothing about the internet. A generous friend gave of his time and helped me with the post. As result of our continued friendship, we now work together expanding his web design business. This month alone we working on three different profit yielding projects. With the help of another friend, I started another business. I found free poetry class and life coaching lessons the local library. I plan on taking a master gardening class there again all free. Volunteering, another free opportunity to create growth and meet people. I pay for one guitar lesson and month and of course all of this is layered into the fabric of what once was my life. The therapy I am involved with now is also free. It comes from the pastor that councils me from the church that I volunteer, I feel his investment in me has been valuable as he is really the first person to say out load- you’re not depressed, you’re just lonely. He has helped me to make weekly outreach plans, something that I have to realize is very difficult for me. Had someone told me a year and almost a half ago that I would be involved in two business, two churches, two gyms, a number of classes and new activities I would have never been able to believe it. Regardless of where the road take me, I feel I am ready to be a far better traveler.
Day 94 Your Assignment
You owe it to yourself to be your own advocate. You owe it to yourself to get busy and pursuit your purpose. While I cannot guarantee where this will take you, I can tell you the trip is far more fun when you are in the driver’s seat!