Life is a habit – I see myself as a recovering accommodator, it is easy for me to fall back into the same kind of relationship again. I am drawn to the peculiar, the abusive, the “unavailable”. It is very easy for me to rationalize bad behavior. I have to work very hard to stay focused on the truth about people and how they treat me. So what to do? Use all means possible to know the people in my life. Google them! Ask about them, try and stay within a known circle of influence. Know a person’s history, and get valid sources to substantiate that history. Other qualities to look for when dating; availability is this person available? People who are in current relationships and marriages no matter what the stories/lies are not available. If someone cannot take you out for dinner they are NOT available. In the process of getting to know someone over time, (and it is definitely recommended do take your time), other things equally important as availability will emerge. For example, does a person remain true to their word or are there many broken promises? When a person breaks a promise to you do they try and explain away the broken promise or do they ignore you? Is everything good until you have a problem? Are you getting at least as much as what you are giving?
Day 95 Your Assignment
When you are attracted to a particular type of person it is tricky to navigate around your sweet spot. This is why you need to remain vigilant. If you are trying too hard and you always coming up short get out sooner than later…chances are this dynamic will not change. Do not be fooled, Assess my needs as you enter new relationships and ask yourself are you getting as much as you are giving.